Night in the Valley of Dinosaurs

Depression can come like dominoes sometimes. One thing goes wrong, and before you know it, a cascade failure takes effect (cascade failure being: a situation where each defense that is breached increases the likelihood of additional breaches leading to system failure). Interestingly enough, I’m not talking about myself right now, although I admit that I am at low tide. I am talking about my friend that I am visiting.

So, we went to visit Dinosaur National Monument today. Even from this locale it is a long drive (round-trip about 10 hours) so it has been a long day. The trip itself was generally fun: we saw lots of beautiful mountain terrain, listened to all kinds of music along the way and the park itself did not disappoint. Besides the monolithic excavation of dinosaur fossils revealed in matrix, we also saw some Native American petroglyphs from about 1000 years ago (lots of lizards, and people with horns). Despite being exhausting, it was fun.

Arriving back though, a series of little things proceeded to stress out my friend though, from not finding the Earl Grey to the dishwasher malfunctioning. He has a tendency to take on tasks sometimes that he could just as easily pass the buck on, or that are someone else’s problem entirely (like getting a buzzing phone to its owner). Being empathetic is not always a blessing, because I sometimes feel the stress, confusion, frustration and depression of those around me.

I unearth the influences
Dust off reasons
Etch out with acid the flawed moments
And hindsight opens a window to a time
When these fossil bones were vibrant
With life and struggle
And you never knew
In your happy affairs
That soon would be coming


As I Lay Sideways

So, I usually don’t have many health issues, but one that has my head tipped sideways currently is earwax. I guess you could call it a metaphor for how I let things build up until they become problems, but it is definitely annoying. I’ve finally gotten serious about treating it since it has caused me to stop hearing from my left ear, but the trouble is, it is way back in my ear (my efforts with a Q-tip have only made it worse). Now I am doing treatments of hydrogen peroxide and rinses of water, and I am trying to clear my ear out in time to go sing karaoke.

Oh, by the way: hi to anyone back home reading this, since I am on vacation.

Anyhow, this leads me to now, where I am trying to type on my friend’s tablet with a small keyboard, cursing myself for letting my ear go this long and wondering how many more treatments I have to go before I can hear normally once more.

I lay
diagonal to purpose
in awkward array
balance off from the tilt
facing none but my guilt
for having to be this way.

All the times I wouldn’t sing
and now, it seems ironic
– fitting –
that when I’d like to
the Universe pulls a prank
that could only have been
by me.