Flight of Fancy

Yulia Tymoshenko, Ex-Premier of Ukraine

Once in a while, my brain will startle me for a moment. I am not the sort who daydreams all that often about famous people (if I did, it would probably be Felicia Day), I like to keep my fantasies closer to reality and involving people I have some connection to. Wait… let me start at the beginning.

I go through cycles where I keep up with the news, until I can’t take any more and set it down for a few months. Right now I’m on a news uptick, so I’ve been following the situations in places like Venezuela and Ukraine. A while back I read this article in particular: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/20/world/europe/tempered-cheers-in-ukraine-for-ex-premier-tied-to-the-past.html?_r=0 . It had an effect on me. Suddenly I could see her struggle playing out like a gritty political thriller in my mind’s eye: the underdog who once ruled supreme has to come back after years of imprisonment, facing undisclosed back injuries, to try and regain her status once more and stop Ukraine from sliding into war and subjugation by Russia. However, the political climate is tumultuous: the people are tired of the corrupt oligarchy and the cronyism of the old system, and Yulia Tymoshenko was no saint, she was every bit a part of that system. New popular candidates for president are abundant, some younger, some richer. Can she overcome her injuries and setbacks, convince the people of Ukraine that she is trustworthy, and do this all before the country flies apart at the seams due to a crashing economy, rampant rioting and looming war with Russia?

Seriously, think about it! You couldn’t write a more gripping backdrop for political intrigue than what is playing out for Yulia Tymoshenko in Ukraine as we speak (er, write and read… nevermind). How dark of an antihero will the character prove to be? Will she renounce her old habits, or just seek to mask and redirect them as she builds a false image? Whatever the case, the woman is a cunning shark in political waters. I mean, Vladimir Putin called her “the only man in Ukrainian politics,” which is high praise coming from an ex-KGB officer.

In the midst of all this, my brain registered how lovely she is. She might not seem quite so lovely when she’s waterboarding you for secrets, but the woman is downright beautiful. She might be 53 years old, but it hardly seems to phase her.

Okay, so the backdrop is established. I’ve read this news article introducing me to Yulia Tymoshenko, time passes, and then today… I had a flight of fancy that I had gotten myself into some situation not unlike “The Man Who Knew Too Little” where on a visit to Ukraine I am mistaken for a foreign intelligence agent and have to come up with some truly ridiculous lies to avoid being tortured for information: my cover story was that I started on with the Information Awareness Office back in ’02 – yes it’s real, visit Wikipedia – and I stayed on with the EELD project, which was what I had come to offer the government in Kiev to combat Russian teams sent for political dissent. Nevermind that I only turned 19 back in ’02, I figure it would at least buy me some time. Anyhow, about the time I was fantasizing about flirting with Yulia Tymoshenko while I was bound to a chair being interrogated, ready to launch into a steamy but ill-fated romantic affair as I get in woefully over my head with lies, I suddenly realized how bizarrely out of character the entire FANTASY was for me. Sure, I come up with all kinds of intense storylines as a dungeon master, but for my personal daydreaming use? I usually pick something with a lot more love and a lot less danger. The women are usually younger than 53, and I have never fantasized about a political figure before.

So, why am I sharing this with you? Well, first of all, this is my journal, so I write what I wanna. I don’t know though… maybe I thought someone would be amused, or someone might be interested to learn about the dangerous and seductive Yulia Tymoshenko (I am kidding! … mostly).

(Image credit: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Msc_2009-Saturday,_14.00_-_16.00_Uhr-Dett_023_Tymoshenko.jpg )

Pryvit, Mrs. Tymoshenko…
yes, I’ll call you Yulia now.
Do we still need these handcuffs, please?
I came here to support you,
since we can’t put boots on the ground with ease.
Just let me call up DARPA,
and our resources will be shared.
(I’ll call for an extraction team,
as though DARPA would care.)
Kokhana, still you don’t trust me?
Oleksandr will never know.
You’ll still have that family
when I have turned to go.


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