Whole Hog

This little piggy went to market,
This little piggy stayed home.
This little piggy couldn’t take any more,
This little piggy had to roam.

This little piggy had a crisis,
This little piggy broke his heart.
This little piggy took pills for the brain,
This little piggy broke apart.

This little piggy got pregnant at twelve,
This little piggy lost her kids.
This little piggy made a pig of himself,
And ran off squealing, then hid.

This little piggy took our nation’s wealth,
This little piggy had none.
This little piggy always served himself,
This little piggy had a gun.

This little piggy couldn’t see a way out,
This little piggy offed herself.
This little piggy engaged in escapism,
and this little piggy went “Wee! Wee! Wee!” all the way home.