Cupid’s sense of humor

So, I have an OkCupid account. You don’t know what a strange thing it is for me to say that: I was resistant to getting a cell phone, I waited until 2006. The only reason I have a MySpace page or a Facebook account happened because of women I was interested in; both of those websites I was also late in arriving to. I still don’t have a Twitter account and I doubt I ever will unless I get famous for some reason (I almost always have more to say than the character limit).

So, Cupid’s arrow seems to have a sense of humor. I have looked at quite a few pages and have probably sent out about a dozen messages to different girls so far. My inbox consists of: responses from a friend, and two women that I didn’t try to contact whose entire first message consisted of this: “Hey..”

Sure, I’m glad to have gotten any interest at all, but it seems funny to me since a lot of women on OkCupid have a bold warning somewhere on their profile to this effect: “DON’T MESSAGE ME if all you can say is “Hi” or “wassup beautiful,” if you can’t string a sentence together or think of something to say then this isn’t going to work.” I wondered if there were really that many men who are worse at interactions than I am, but being on the receiving end from women of the same greeting type, I’m inclined to say both genders have their (un)fair share of awkward people (I dread to think they’re just dull).

I gave them the benefit of the doubt, since I know what it’s like to experience that level of awkwardness in face-to-face interactions, and maybe I’ll meet one of them sooner or later. Subsequent messages have also been spartan though, offering little extra to launch a conversation with. My hopes are not high.

Is this a trend, people of the internet? Are people so used to blitzing text messages that a one-word opener is normal since you expect to answer in one- to twelve-word bursts every few seconds? I’m more of the letter-writing type. If this had been an instant message system I wouldn’t be so perplexed by it.

Perhaps now simply isn’t the time, and I’m strangely OK with that. I secretly suspect one of two things: 1.) women want a man who is employed and fully supporting himself; or 2.) mentioning video games or Dungeons & Dragons has scared some of them off. I’m not going to misrepresent myself so I don’t see the situation changing greatly until I graduate. Who knows though? Hope remains as I go about straightening up my life.

Time’s arrow flies
– fun irrelevant –
but only pricks you
Cupid’s arrow
– logic irrelevant –
repeatedly strikes
the marrow of
this dunce

if these two archers
had a contest
– an era or a day –
I’d bet that Cupid missed his mark
but hit more anyway;
for Time lets loose a single shaft
to pierce the veil of years
while – caterwauling – Cupid’s targets
erupt in smiles and tears:
he loads ten arrows on at once
and cares not where they veer

but if I chose between the two,
from Cupid or Lord Time,
I’d go with Eros even though
Chronos is more sublime
for I’d rather break a hundred hearts
– and a thousand times break mine –
than see lonesome eternity
along a perfect line.

disregard this post
a madman came running by
breath like Valentines

insidious meh
coiling around my ribcage
don’t settle now: wait

Man, lest ye be judged
avert your heart this autumn
or fall with the leaves

capitalist cad
turns and lingers at her door
money equates dates

stainless steel wristwatch
you cruelly count my mistakes
and match graying hairs

they grow spring flowers;
summer’s heat is ignored, ’til
the first frost arrives


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